Every Day Is A Naming Ceremony
Names tell a story about us. The names we are given and the names we grow into. A Thought for the Day For BBC Radio 4. Listen here.
The practice, in marriage, of taking a husbands surname is falling out of favour with millennial and Gen Z couples. That’s according to a report in the Times.
In an age of gender equality alternative options are becoming popular — perhaps with each partner retaining their last name or maybe going for the old school double barrel.
This reminded me of several friends in recent years who’ve created blended surnames from each of their originals
The Berrys and Rowes became the Roweberrys. The Leighs and Winters became the Winterleighs. While the Cross household and Starkey household became Starcross.
Traditions insist on evolving, this is how they stay alive.
Many popular UK surnames originate in the trades of long forgotten ancestors — people who were once smiths or butchers. Your name — Baker or Taylor — advertised your business.
As we no longer need them to do that, this might explain why we don’t know anyone called Ted Programmer or Sheila Consultant or Mary Deputy-Headteacher Brackets Lower School.
Not only are we humans far more than simply what we do for a living but those traditional names were always rooted in the male ancestors, which, as the writer Rebecca Solnit observes, means that women were disappeared. ‘Names erased a woman’s genealogy and even her existence.’
Names tell a story about us. The names we are given and the names we grow into.
When I’m invited to take someone’s funeral it’s in the tributes of grieving loved ones that I may catch a sense of the true name of someone I never met.
Bill was a retired boxer who ran a chain of betting shops and loved a drink. The luminous tribute of his sons ended like this. ‘Dad would like us to give a special mention to the people who made his life more interesting — William Hill, Paddy Power and of course… all the Teachers.’
In the creation stories carried in the book of Genesis, one of the early jobs that God asks of Adam is to give names to the animals.
Names help us make sense of the world around us… and of each other. They help us see who we are.
An ancient Hebrew commentary says that we all have three names — the one from our parents, the one people call us and — the best one — the one we gain for ourselves.
In the end we name our selves by the lives we live each day … and that’s a sacred act.
We’re named Generous. Or Funny. Or Patient. Or Kind. Or Courageous. We’re named a good listener or a trustworthy friend or a loyal colleague.
Along with our first name or our surname, every day is a naming ceremony. And, as that familiar prayer puts it, hallowed be thy name.
